nothingnessXXX by Tomislav Feller and Hana van der Kolk, with sound by Steve Martin Snider and visual design by Nikola Knezevic, explores waiting and listening, change and ephemerality, the eroticism of waiting, and the inevitable paradox of beauty and despair apparent when one pauses to observe. It is a resistance, a celebration, a ceremony. Presented at Jacuzzi, Amsterdam (NL) and Zagreb Dance Center, Zagreb (Croatia) in 2018. 

a forceful demand for slowing + waiting
a mourning of the failure for waiting to save us from our failure
the privilege of waiting + its decolonizing potential
I am in service to the space
get quite still
action arising from waiting
the objecthood of my body, an offering to the total
object not objectified
means: no decisions, no preferences
plain and simple: seeing, hearing, feeling the shape and sensation
mind defers to alternate ways of knowing
what if I can hear the space, I can hear something else inside the body other than what is most immediately apparent?
periodically give in and ride the wave of an impulse
then waiting
no success/constant state of becoming/being/questioning
action/inaction (deferring to the total)
probably stay longer
surrender reveals the next moment – don’t worry, something is still produced
quietly acknowledge distraction, desire, fear
no success
only potential
cyborgs, the desert, the eroticism of waiting